Frozengard Consumed by Mule

In somewhat expected news this morning, former Staff Elephant Chuck Frozengard was eaten late last night by a mule (Phil).

Frozengard (DEAD)

It is believed that Frozengard approached Phil the Mule after a "road-rage" incident occurred between the two. Bystanders have stated that Frozengard was driving "clearly over 75 miles per hour" in reverse down a local side-street when Phil the Mule verbally accosted Frozengard. After a brief shouting match, Frozengard slammed the brakes and exited his vehicle, believed to be a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee.

"He removed all of his clothing and ran violently towards Phil" stated local resident Bob Bobbalo.

Details get murky at this point, though it is known that Frozengard was consumed during a candlelight vigil outside the Bobbalo home. A bottle of merlot was served by Phil the Mule to all in the audience.

Services will not be held for Frozengard, as he has already been flushed down the toilet.

- Staff Mule Reporter Gerry Muleman